New Year's Laughs!

Jan 1

Step into 2023 with me, my Friends. We can walk it together, and maybe we will find it amusing, at least once in a while.

I think I’m going to try to be positive when I decide on my resolutions for the New Year. Let me know if I succeed, okay? Alright here goes:

I will try not to strangle my phone’s autocorrect when it replaces my “chiclets” with “chicken.” I don’t even like chicken. I know, I know. That’s unAmerry Santa, but what can I say?
Tell my internet’s autocorrect to quit thinking it’s smarter than I am and inserting its own text in my articles. I don’t share my byline.
Quit trying to compare my energy level to that of Speaker Nancy Pelosi and her leadership team. After all, they’re in their 80s.
Remind people who want to do away with birth control that pregnant stay-at-home mothers with six kids are frequently homicidal.
Watch something besides cable news so that I’ll know when to boil my water.
Quit treating my prescription renewals as if they were last-minute deadlines.
Try to not lose my scissors somewhere between my office chair and my desk while still seated.
Remind people social media are businesses. At best, these online companies are friends who are willing to stab you in the back and then cry that they are victims.
Quit correcting newscasters’ and pundits’ grammar. They never listen anyway.
Enjoy more time with three-dimensional family and friends. Online friends don’t bring you chiclet-noodle soup when you are sick.

Stay Safe. Stay Well. The latest version of this virus is the most contagious yet. And COVID boosters are still free.

Gloria